Is your 3-year-old suddenly regressing in their sleep? Learn about the 3-year-old sleep regression and how to help your child through it.
If your 3 year old is suddenly struggling with their sleep, I’m here to help.
As a Pediatric Sleep Consultant and a mom, I have plenty of experience with the 3 year old sleep regression.
Let me help you troubleshoot your 3 year old’s sleep and get everyone’s sleep back on track.
By the end of this blog post you’ll:
- Understand why the 3 year old sleep regression happens
- Know what tools to use to help keep your 3 year old from waking up in the middle of the night
- Learn how to get your 3 year old’s sleep back on track (and yours too!)
Why Is My 3 Year Old Suddenly Not Sleeping?
Your 3-year old is going through some big developmental changes at this age and sometimes that can impact sleep.
Any number of things could cause a sleep regression, but these are the most common.
Night Time Fears
Is your 3 year old suddenly waking up scared of the dark or from a nightmare? As your 3-year-old’s imagination starts to bloom, so can fears at night time.
Make sure to validate their fears, while reassuring them that they are safe.
If you haven’t already, you can introduce a dim nightlight to help them at night. Amber tones are better for sleep. I personally love the Hatch for this age.
Developmental Milestones
Anytime your child is learning new things, it can cause regressions in their sleep. Around 3 years old is when many children start potty training, which can cause setbacks at night.
Your toddler’s language is also exploding at this age. When their brain is busy, they may want to stay up at night chatting away.
Make sure to give them plenty of practice during the day to practice their new words.
A New Sibling
Have you welcomed a new baby into your house? Your 3-year old may be waking up in the night looking for attention now that a new baby has invaded their space.
Make sure to carve out a little special time with your toddler each day so they don’t go looking for attention at night.
A New School
Has your child recently started a new preschool program? Being in a new environment away from you can cause temporary sleep setbacks.
Your child may be experiencing a little bit of separation anxiety, which is common at this age.
Sleep Schedule
Your 3 year old doesn’t need as much sleep as they once did. Look at the 3 year old sleep schedule below to see if your toddler is ready to shorten or drop their nap.
If they’re getting too much sleep during the day, it can cause middle of the night wakeups, waking up too early, or fighting bedtime.
If your 3 year old goes to a school and their daytime nap isn’t flexible, you may need to consider a later bedtime.
Toddler Bed
Have you recently transitioned to a toddler bed from the crib? It’s your toddler’s job to push boundaries and they may be exploring their new freedom at bedtime.
How Does the Three-Year-Old Sleep Regression Show Up?
The three-year old sleep regression can present itself in a number of ways, including:
- Your 3-year old suddenly fighting bedtime and having bedtime tantrums
- Your 3-year old waking up in the middle of the night
- Your 3-year old fighting naptime
- Your 3-year old waking up too early in the morning
How Long Does the 3 Year Old Sleep Regression Last?
It depends on how you handle the regression.
If you start new sleep habits, like co-sleeping or laying with your toddler until they fall asleep, then the regression will just turn into your new sleep routine.
However, if you set clear boundaries and stick to them, the regression can last between 2 to 6 weeks.
Tips for Dealing with the 3 Year Old Regression
Here are practical tips to help everyone’s sleep get back on track.
Look at their Sleep Schedule
If your three-year-old is still napping, it may be time to cut back on the nap length, or cut the nap out altogether.
Too much daytime sleep can cause toddlers to fight bedtime, wake up in the middle of the night, or wake up too early in the morning.
Three-year-olds need approximately 11 to 13 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period and most kids typically stop napping altogether between ages 3 and 4.
Here’s a sample 3-year-old schedule with a one-hour nap. If you think your toddler needs a longer nap, you can extend it to 1.5 hours. If you think they need less time, cut it back.
3 Year Old Sample Nap Schedule
7:00 am – Wake Up
1:00 pm–2:00 pm – Nap
7:30 pm – Bedtime
If you think your child is ready to drop the nap completely, you can introduce quiet time so you both have some down time each day.
Reducing the nap length or cutting it out completely will solve many people’s three-year-old sleep regression. But if you’re still struggling, then keep reading.
Set the Expectations
Your 3 year old understands so much! Decide what your boundaries are around sleep and communicate those to your 3 year old.
For example, if you want them to stay in their bed all night, tell them and then practice it with them during the day.
Role playing can be a great way to communicate expectations at this age.
Use An Okay To Wake Clock
Toddlers don’t understand the concept of time. They may wake up in the middle of the night, thinking it’s morning, or wake up early thinking it’s time to start the day.
Give them a visual with an okay to wake clock. The Hatch Rest is simple to use and gives your 3 year old an easy-to-grasp concept of day and night.
Remain Consistent
One of the most important things when dealing with a 3-year-old sleep regression and keeping your toddler in their bed is to remain firm and consistent.
It can be really easy to start creating new habits out of desperation and exhaustion, but if you let your toddler in your bed sometimes and not others, it can be really confusing to them.
Once you set clear expectations, be extremely consistent in how you handle night time wakeups or bedtime stalling.
For us, each time our daughter would wake up in the middle of the night and come into our room, I would boringly walk her back to her bed. You want to avoid giving them extra attention for the middle-of-the-night wakeup.
Bedtime Routine
Toddlers thrive off consistency and knowing what to expect.
Have a consistent bedtime routine each night, where you do the same 3 to 5 activities.
It can helpful to have a visual routine so your toddler can see each step and take ownership of the process.
Consider Sleep Training
If bed sharing has become your new norm and you want to kick that, you may consider toddler sleep training.
The Chair Method is an effective technique that can help get your toddler back to sleeping in their own room.
Use A Rewards Program
Consider using a rewards chart to incentivize your toddler to stay in bed. You can use a sticker chart and reward your toddler with a sticker each time they stay in their bed.
Give them quick and easy wins so that their positive behavior is reinforced.
With a plan and consistency, you can kick the 3 year old sleep regression and get your toddler back to sleeping through the night!
My 3.5 yo was always a great sleeper. She was always happy to go to sleep in her crib, in a pitch dark room, completely on her own. For the past few months, she has completely regressed, refusing her crib, so we’ve tried converting her to a toddler bed, but now the only way she will fall asleep is with me, cuddled up face to face. We have tried moving her in with her brother, we tried sprucing up her room and bed, we’ve tried a gentle separation approach, a cold turkey approach, and nothing has worked. How can we get her back to her own bed, in her own room, especially since we’ve given in for this long just to have some rest?
Hi Nicole,
I have been there with my own daughter and it is rough!
At this age, it is going to be all about setting up new boundaries with her and really following through. There are plenty of little things you can do to get her sleeping independently.
If you want help through the transition, grab the Toddler Sleep Training Guide: https://thepostpartumparty.lpages.co/toddler-sleep-training-guide/
Thanks,
Amy
Hi. We are having issues with our 3.5yo wanting to sleep in our room. This has been going on for several months now. He shares a room with his 2yo sister. (Unfortunately, we don’t have space to split them up.) Most nights, he is in our room by 11pm, in the floor with a pillow and blanket. If we notice, we make him go back to his bed, but not without a tantrum fight because he is scared. Of what? It changes every night. If we do get him back in his bed at that time, he is back at some point in the night. He is quiet and he won’t wake us up, so we don’t know until we wake in the morning. At daycare, they have cut his nap down. No nap isn’t an option there, unfortunately. We just really want him to sleep in his own bed. Any feedback is appreciated!
Hi Lora,
There’s a lot you can do here to help him! One is to talk about his fears during the day and teach him a mantra he can say to himself at night, such as “I’m safe in my bed.” At that age, you’ll want to really set the expectations during the day and stick with those boundaries when he comes into your room in the middle of the night. You can put a small bell on your door so you hear him as soon as he enters the room.
If you want help, grab the Toddler Sleep Training Guide: https://thepostpartumparty.lpages.co/toddler-sleep-training-guide/
Thanks,
Amy
What if your three year-old just isn’t tired? He’s just been staying up later and later (not tired) and not needing a nap. He’s going to bed about 10pm and waking up at 6am without a nap.
Hi Jason,
It would be very unlikely that he just isn’t tired. Three year olds need between 10-12 hours of sleep total.
I’d be curious why he won’t go to bed earlier. Does he fight bedtime? Take a long time to fall asleep? Refuse to sleep alone?
Feel free to book a 15-minute call if you want to learn more about working with me to help!
https://thepostpartumparty.lpages.co/sleep-packages/
Sweet dreams,
Amy
Same! Thanks for the article!
Any suggestions on how to handle our 3.5 year old waking up every 2 hours? A little backstory, she was an AMAZING sleeper until she potty trained and realized she could pee in the middle of the night and ditch the pull-up. Now, we cut liquids off and screens of any kind 1 hour or more before bed. No matter how early or late we may her down she falls sleep around 9 and sleeps about 2.5-3 hours no problem. Then she gets up to pee and comes to our room to inform us then wants kisses and hugs and help with blankets. We have a hard time denying the hugs but will not go into her room to tuck her in. After the first initial wake up she then wake every 2 hours until around 5/5:30 when she starts getting up every 15-30 minutes. We have tried the hatch, melatonin, different sound machine noises, nightlights, rewards, taking things away and it all doesn’t seem to make a difference. We’ve tried no nap and short naps but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. We are going on month 5 of this.
Any advice is welcomed!!
Hi @Becky, 3 is so hard! It sounds like it’s become a habit now and you’ll have to set up new expectations and new boundaries for her. Then, you’ll want to be extremely consistent in your approach with her during the middle of the night wakeups. If you want help, grab the Toddler Sleep Training Guide: https://thepostpartumparty.lpages.co/toddler-sleep-training-guide/
Thanks,
Amy
@Becky, just came across your post – what you described is EXACTLY what we are experiencing with our 3 yr old even down to her wake up periods and everything we have tried to break the cycle. Any tips on how you were able to get out of this horrendous cycle? We are desperate to try anything….